Friday, April 22, 2011

Relationalplus-Adorn your life: A simple approach to relationship

Relationalplus-Adorn your life: A simple approach to relationship

A simple approach to relationship

Relating with people is not about getting entertained. Friends are not a substitute to our loneliness. Just as family is about sharing that bond of belonging so also is friendship. It is about bonding and adding color to our lives.

Pause a while and think of our pet dogs. Have you ever noticed their behavior in relation to their owners or with those around them? Their reaction to people are not the same with everyone. They expect love and attention of their owners. Their whining and animated barks tells us of their intimacy. The same goes with little children. They like those who bring them gifts, edibles and don't scold them. Attention is the watchword here. I guess we are not very different as adults too. All of us seek something from others.

One of the best option to treat people is on the merit of the individual. As human beings we are all different and inherent with shortcomings and weaknesses. Perfection cannot be found in anyone yet most often we try and blend with only those that serve purposes in our lives. Maybe that explains why we try and cater around only those in the line of our nature or like-mindedness. But the beauty of relating is in variety and to bask in that beauty one needs to blend the opposites. Just as the beauty of a music lies in the synchronization of different musical instrument so also is relationship. Don't use the same yardstick with everyone. Draw a line and demarcate the territory of your association with others. After all you don't enjoy a movie dreaming of your weekend picnic. When you are in the theater enjoy the movie and when you are playing get absorbed in the game. Relate with people for what they are and not what you want. If you want others to accept you as you are then accept them as they come.

Gloomy people are naturally avoided so try and be cheerful. We all carry our share of the burden of life. Don't carry about your load and erect walls all around you. Of course friends are there to share and lend but that is not how we should approach our relationship.

I believe that this simple attitude and approach to relationship will help us share a lasting bond with our partners too. Live the moment and share meaningful bond with those you come across. That's the beauty of life.

Friday, April 15, 2011

How to relate: a preview

            We are not living in a perfect world. You must be very clear with that when it comes to relating with others. There are people out there with different taste, nature and approach to life. Just as you may like others to treat you humanely so also do they. Respect and trust are the two keyword you’ll need, when relating with others. It is also very important that you have a fair knowledge of yourself; who you are and what you expect of the relationship? Also it is essential that you develop a liking for yourself and be compassionate about it despite the flaws in your life. If you don’t love yourself despite the shortcomings (mind you huh! Not that selfishness but gratefully accepting yourself for who you are despite your flaws) how can you have empathy for others? If you are to relate well to others, you not only need to understand and accept yourself; you also need to understand other people. One of the biggest hindrances to such understanding is assuming that the other person has the same insights and feelings you do. That's natural, but it may not be true for several reasons. Understanding that all of us are flawed in some way, and all of us are destined to make mistakes will help you better relate with others.  This is where accommodating comes in, for you cannot better relate with others if you don’t give them space. It is not only about others falling in line to your point of view but you must also be able to accept theirs too. I am not the only one that has views and problems. We all have! Don’t be too judgmental about others. Before you criticize others, remember that most of the very idiosyncrasies which you seem to be criticizing in others may be within you. Others may have the same opinion about you. "Beware when you point a finger at someone, because three fingers are always pointing back at you."
            We may all breathe the same air, walk the same earth and live our lives together but there are many things to life than simple comparisons. Please don’t have an opinion of others by the yardstick you use to judge yourself. All of us grew up in different environments, with different influences and experiences that has helped shape our opinions and views of life. Our birth place may be the same and though we may have grown playing in the same neighborhood and gone to the same school but we grew up in different conditions when it concerns parental, socio-economic condition and family environment. And it is for this reason that we have our own individual opinions regarding life and the things that are considered important and vice versa. We are social creatures therefore in spite of our differing views and opinions, it's important to realize that it is in connecting and relating with others where we will find happiness.
            Don’t have preconceived notions about people it is very dangerous. Don’t think that somebody who has pierced his or her body means that he or she has a reputation to be avoided and cling on to those who are neat and tidy assuming that they are good. To relate is not to prejudge a person but in welcoming as they come packaged.  After all how can you expect someone to pass judgment on your character when that person hardly knows you? As the bible says ‘you don’t know a person till you have divided an inheritance with him’. Let’s not judge others. Just let time judge them. 
            Be patient enough to lend your ears to relate well with others. It don’t cost you a thing except a little of your time. And in a way this will help you to better understand that person and aide you to deal with him/her adroitly. After all, relationship is not about going out only with the like minded but being able to blend with all alike.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Relationalplus-Adorn your life: Relationship is Not a Promise

Relationalplus-Adorn your life: Relationship is Not a Promise: "It is easier to get committed than to maintain that commitment. That is why we have the adage; Promises are made to be broken.'' But relati..."