It is in harmonising contradictory minds into an agreeable term, where relationship will thrive. A relationship is not necessarily the abscence of opposing ideas but rather the blending of the opposites into a compact whole through understanding and acceptance of the differences and individuality of the other. To coterie around only those that falls within the line of our motives and interest, running after only the so called like-minded, is not relationship in the real sense of the term. It is rather an association, short-term or long-term, depending upon the nature and objective of fulfilment of the mutually accepted interest and goals. A relationship has far greater connotation than we take it to be, for it is not only in trying to relate to those with whom we share commonness, but in building an intimacy with the opposites through accomodation of the differences and bridging the gaps with common objectives. It is a way in which two or more people are connected and a sum total of their behaviourial attitude towards each other in their interaction.
Relationship entails contradiction, for it is the union of independent entities("I'm not like that" "but I'm different" "Why is he/she so like that" "I don't agree" "are you crazy"). But conflict of ideas does not necessarily portends enmity, rather it is a way of sharpening an individual's perspective by making a person wiser and imbibing healthier thoughts. Even like-minded and happily married couples do have issues. The problem is not really the issues but how to tag along together in the light of the given differences and still be within the ambit of an amiable term with each other. It is here that our emotions and feelings will come into play. The danger arises when we allow ourselves to be emotionally involved to the given contradiction and stick to our conceived notions and feelings.
We are all like wayfarers where we get to meet countless faces and from among them few get close enough to be within the ambit of our circle of friends. A closer scrutiny will reveal to us that it is not a case of a symbiosis of a buddy-buddy between an intro' and an extro' and the likes, ie, not a blend of complete opposites but a union among commons and equals (This aspect becomes more evident as an individual gets older and thus he begins to get lonelier). Maybe this explains why there is a growing number of unpatchable relationship due to self-conciously assertive individualism. The essence of a relationship lies in the acceptance of a person the way he/she is, despite the differences. A saying goes that 'a husband and a wife should argue sometimes to get to know each other better'. Does this makes sense? Ofcourse! Marriage is a union of two unique individuals with distinct personalities. And husbands and wifes get to know each other better in the course of living together under one roof. Thus it is only appropriate that they iron out their differences and get to know each better for a better understanding of each other and deal with each other in a more accomodative way. Being in love with each other and to be living together are totally different. For "if you love someone you begin to love even their pig sty". Ding dong! Courtships and romances can get very emotional and emotions can clog our eyes from seeing the reality. After all in trying to be impressive we present a different picture yet it is too much of an ask to continue what we are not. In due course of time our inhibitions eases off and we truly become ourselves. This is just the beginning of the end, the start of a whole new level of contrasting dimension that has to be lived with. Common destiny, shared dreams, life-long commitments ... yet several other factors like contrasting views, attitudes, natures, coupled with physical, spiritual, intellectual and material circumstances will come to play. Therefore, accomodation and acceptance of the differences, ironing out the contradictions, level of leeway to each other, and most important of all, the degree of trust and respect governing the relationship, these factors will regulate and influence the nature of the relationship.
Most often than not, we are like beggars, going around, seeking for the satisfaction of our spiritual, intellectual, emotional and sensual needs. So we end up hanging around those who fit in the scheme of satisfying our requirements. It really is selfish and deprives us of the beauty afforded to us by life. Life is lived by those who incorporate variety in their lives. It don't really cost much to everlook the wrong in others for we are all fallible and we do expect others to understand our mistakes. Keep it simple folks and stick to the basic.
If life is beautiful and living one of the most wonderful experiences then it is the company of friends that adds taste to our lives. Accomodation, trust, respect, positive approach, leeway etc are some important ingredients with which we can smoothly oil the conduct our relationships with others. In trying to understand the differences, we learn to value the uniqueness in each and we become accessible and friendly.
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