Friday, April 15, 2011

How to relate: a preview

            We are not living in a perfect world. You must be very clear with that when it comes to relating with others. There are people out there with different taste, nature and approach to life. Just as you may like others to treat you humanely so also do they. Respect and trust are the two keyword you’ll need, when relating with others. It is also very important that you have a fair knowledge of yourself; who you are and what you expect of the relationship? Also it is essential that you develop a liking for yourself and be compassionate about it despite the flaws in your life. If you don’t love yourself despite the shortcomings (mind you huh! Not that selfishness but gratefully accepting yourself for who you are despite your flaws) how can you have empathy for others? If you are to relate well to others, you not only need to understand and accept yourself; you also need to understand other people. One of the biggest hindrances to such understanding is assuming that the other person has the same insights and feelings you do. That's natural, but it may not be true for several reasons. Understanding that all of us are flawed in some way, and all of us are destined to make mistakes will help you better relate with others.  This is where accommodating comes in, for you cannot better relate with others if you don’t give them space. It is not only about others falling in line to your point of view but you must also be able to accept theirs too. I am not the only one that has views and problems. We all have! Don’t be too judgmental about others. Before you criticize others, remember that most of the very idiosyncrasies which you seem to be criticizing in others may be within you. Others may have the same opinion about you. "Beware when you point a finger at someone, because three fingers are always pointing back at you."
            We may all breathe the same air, walk the same earth and live our lives together but there are many things to life than simple comparisons. Please don’t have an opinion of others by the yardstick you use to judge yourself. All of us grew up in different environments, with different influences and experiences that has helped shape our opinions and views of life. Our birth place may be the same and though we may have grown playing in the same neighborhood and gone to the same school but we grew up in different conditions when it concerns parental, socio-economic condition and family environment. And it is for this reason that we have our own individual opinions regarding life and the things that are considered important and vice versa. We are social creatures therefore in spite of our differing views and opinions, it's important to realize that it is in connecting and relating with others where we will find happiness.
            Don’t have preconceived notions about people it is very dangerous. Don’t think that somebody who has pierced his or her body means that he or she has a reputation to be avoided and cling on to those who are neat and tidy assuming that they are good. To relate is not to prejudge a person but in welcoming as they come packaged.  After all how can you expect someone to pass judgment on your character when that person hardly knows you? As the bible says ‘you don’t know a person till you have divided an inheritance with him’. Let’s not judge others. Just let time judge them. 
            Be patient enough to lend your ears to relate well with others. It don’t cost you a thing except a little of your time. And in a way this will help you to better understand that person and aide you to deal with him/her adroitly. After all, relationship is not about going out only with the like minded but being able to blend with all alike.

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